Thursday, July 17, 2008
Hmmm how should I start......
Actually yesterday 16 July 2008, I read the email about that again... I thought all this was over and I have already get over it but I'm truely wrong... Whenever I start to read back all those email, my heart was hurted, I will start to think of all those stupid things...
WHY DIDN'T I MAKE SURE THAT HIS HEART WAS WITH ME WHOLEHEARTEDLY?
WHY AM I SO SOFT HEARTED AT THAT TIME?
WHY DO I LIKE TO ASSUME THAT HE ONLY LOVE ME?
WHY MUST IT BE THE BOTH OF THEM?
Alot of WHY in my head when I read, but I never regret we have walk this far together hand in hand... Because of this happening, it make me see the true love which I have been searching all this years of my life... Afraid that he will lose me, afraid that I will get angry, sad, worry or even give up? Frankly speaking I did thought of giving up at that very moment but I hold on because I know I truely love him and he is the only one who make me feel so loved...
I wanted myself to stop reading those email that will hurt me deeply but I just couldn't stop myself to do it because I want to know everything before this relationship come to an end... Sooner or later we might just be like he and her, not contacting each other at all... I'm afraid and I don't want to lose a friend just like this... I know today we going to meet and reading it will only make me feel so irritated about her but I don't care, I just want to read... Stubborn right?
I just want to know why can my best friend treat me like this behind my back? Is it because she really love him and willing to do all this thing behind my back without letting me know and continue this friendship with me? Is this a fake friendship that I can call? I wonder how can she be so cruel to do this, I couldn't think of my best friend will do this to me... But it just happened...
Its me who choose this path and I shouldn't blame anyone for doing this to me... I just want to be me, myself and not a fake me...
with loves; PiGlEt OnG KeLiNe...
8:29 AM
